Daily Poll
April 13, 2008 *Points: Alberto Gonzales Jobs, Will Lie for Food, Attorney General's False Claims *Truths: Alberto Gonzales, liberals, bears, Ron Paul, lawyers, Michael Mukasey Why can't Alberto Gonzales find work? Bears have invaded Stearns. The behind the scenes is that Michael Mukasey will be available soon. Ron Paul isn't president yet. Why do liberals hate justice? April 9, 2008 *Points: Growing Organs, Wikipedia Grows a Penis *Truths: balls, Democrats, Liberals, testosterone, penis, Stephen Colbert, Mrs. Colbert, science According to recent South Park research, penises can be grown on mice. Does this mean Democrats will grow balls? We can all be Mrs. Colbert! No. Why do Liberals hate testosterone? Why do Democrats hate scientific research? April 8, 2008 *Points: Best Bush Cartoons, Colbert Wins Peabody, Clinton Campaign Strategist Resigns *Truths: The Greatest President Ever, John Yoo, Peabody, Mark Penn What is a suitable punishment for someone who mocks President Bush? A Peabody award in journalism. The liberation of their home and job. Forced to be Hillary Clinton's chief campaign strategist. The legal decision should be reviewed by John Yoo and decidered by George. April 7, 2008 *Points: Bush Protest, Iraq Combat Vehicles, Bush War Criminals, Blackwater Investments *Truths: The Greatest President Ever, Donald Rumsfeld, David Addington, John Yoo, Blackwater, war crimes What's the most securifying thing President Bush has done for the America? Arrest Catholic school girls. Add vinyl doors to combat vehicles. Hire Donald Rumsfeld, David Addington, and John Yoo. Give Blackwater more contracts. April 6, 2008 *Points: Catholic School Girls Arrested for Bush Protest *Truths: The Greatest President Ever, war crimes, impeachment, torture, John Yoo How should the Catholics who protested President Bush in a church during Easter be interrogated? Sharing a jail for other violent criminals for 2 days. Setting baild bonds at or above $25,000. Given felony charges. Forced to edit John Yoo's memos. April 5, 2008 *Points: Michael Moore Celebrates Heston's Death, Bowling for Columbine *Truths: Charlton Heston, Michael Moore, guns, firearms What will you remember most about Charlton Heston? His manly voice. His muscular buttocks. How he made Bowling for Columbine into a great film instead of another boring Michael Moore documentary. How he nailed Michael Moore. April 4, 2008 *Points: President Bush Consults Dilbert *Truths: Dilbert, The Greatest President - EVER!, banks, Bear Stearns, mortgages, Paul Krugman What's the best part of President Bush's financial reform proposal? Liberal, America hating, economists hate it. Dilbert will change the pronunciation of his name to rhyme with Colbert. It enforces market discipline through the Federal Reserve. It proves that bears can't takeover Wall Street. April 3, 2008 *Points: Trillions Wasted on Worthless Weapons *Truths: The Greatest President - EVER!, The Greatest Vice President - EVER!, terrorist, tax and spend, Freedom of the Press, 9/11, trillion Why is the liberal media attacking President Bush-Cheney's anti-terrorist spending? They don't understand that trillion is an imaginary number. Why does the liberal media support terrorists? Why does the liberal media support Freedom of the Press? They miss showing great American buildings crumble to the ground. April 2, 2008 *Points: President Bush Knew of and Approved Torture *Truths: torture, The Greatest President - EVER!, balls, John Yoo, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky What can even the liberals learn from the legal expertise of John Yoo and President Bush? Bill Clinton has balls, but no gut. If Bill Clinton's brains weren't between his legs, he'd have declared BJs legal. If Clinton's brains weren't between his legs, adultery would be executive privilege. If Bill wasn't a sodomite, Monica would have been an enemy combatant undergoing harsh interrogation. April 1, 2008 *Points: none *Truths: truthiness, Liberals, it getters, Canada, The Liberal Media Today is April Fools day. What does that mean? Liberals make sense. Stephen Colbert will fool liberals into thinking they're it-getters. Canadians are not fools for a day. The liberal media will correctly report troop deaths in Iraq for 1 day. March 31, 2008 *Points: 100 Years, McCain Clamps *Truths: John McCain, Abu Ghraib, Blackwater, no-bid contract, Barack Hussein Obama, Abu Ghraib What can liberals learn from Chicago Cubs' fans? John McCain is willing to suffer a hundred years of torture to win the Global War on Terrorism trophy. Staying the course will give torturers multi-million dollar contracts. Obama hates baseball and apple pie. A hundred years from now, Iraq will be celebrating opening day at Abu Ghraib. March 30, 2008 *Points: Theft Costs Charities Billions *Truths: Liberals, billion, faith based, charity, The Greatest Vice President - EVER! What are the learnings from billions of theft from nonprofit organizations? That liberals are stealing. That more faith based in charity is needed. Enron accountants found new jobs. That Cheney can get his Halliburton stock option money back quickly and easily from the nonprofits he donated it to. March 26, 2008 *Points: Speaker of the House Pelosi Hates Superdelegates *Truths: Nancy Pelosi, Hillary, Barack Hussein Obama, superdelegates, Democrats, Ronald Reagan Why does Nancy Pelosi hate superdelegates? Because she has Obamamania. Because they're heroes. Because she doesn't have faith in superheroes. Because superdelegates were created in Ronald Reagan's 4th year, 1984. March 25, 2008 *Points: McCain Lobbyists, Republican Regrets *Truths: John McCain, lobbyists, Republican, Christian, Hero Liberals want us to vote for an angry black man for President. Heroes want a: Man who can deal peacefully with lobbyists. Man who embraces corporate learnings. Man ready to Indepentify Iran. Angry, white, Christian male. Country led by Bush for 4 more years. March 24, 2008 *Points: Victory in Impeach Bush Case, Rush Limbaugh Votes Clinton, Pelosi's tube *Truths: The Greatest President EVER!, impeachment, voting, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Hate America Firster Some America hater was found not guilty for holding an impeach Bush sign. This means we can: Hold up Impeach Pelosi signs. Pretend to be Democrats and vote for Hillary. Send messages and fax Pelosi's office to demand she resign. Hold up assassinate Obama signs. March 23, 2008 *Points: Conversion Miracle, Pope Dry in Water, Easter in Iraq *Truths: The Pope, Poprah, Easter, Jesus What is the best way to celebrate Easter? Dress up in a bunny suit and do it like a rabbit. Rejoice with the Pope that more young boys will experience the "miracle" of "conversion". Get wet watching the Pope in Rome. Set off car bomb fireworks in Iraq. March 22, 2008 *Points: Condi Says it's a Few Bad Apples, Rush Limbaugh's Voter Fraud *Truths: The Greatest Secretary of State, Abu Ghraib, Lynndie England, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Novak, Barack Hussein Obama The liberal media claimed Condi apologized to Obama. What Did Condi actually tell Obama? Divorce your wife and make me your first lady. I'm giving your social security number to Rush Limbaugh. I'm giving your address to Bob Novak. Your next flight will land on Abu Ghraib. March 21, 2008 *Points: InfraGard report, Obama Porn *Truths: InfraGard, FBI, Homeland Security, guns, Privatize *Agents: WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer What's the best way for the FBI to protect America? Make the terrorists jealous of our hot chicks giving cooking tips. Keep secrets. Give contracts to protect it. Give corporations immunity to kill those who threaten America. Join InfraGard. March 20, 2008 *Points: South Park Colorado Reports, Ladybugs, Libby Disbarred *Truths: Britney Spears, Attorney General, Michael Mukasey, Scooter Libby, The Supreme Court, South Park, Executive Branch, O.J. Simpson Who should handle the case of Britney allegedly murdering a ladybug while peeing in the woods in Colorado? Attorney General Mukasey. The Supreme Court. Scooter Libby OJ Simpson. March 19, 2008 *Points: Inspired by Analyst in Chief WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer *Truths: Dr. Colbert, Adam's Apple, Ann Coulter, America, Florida, man Dr. Colbert said America is a man based on Florida America also had an Adam's Apple. But which state is America's Adam's Apple? Louisiana North Carolina The hand of Michigan Illinois Texas What state did Ann Coulter grow up in? Archives Continue the Great American tradition by voting after the polls close: Poll Archives __NOEDITSECTION__ Note that GFDL as linked to below and Wikiality:Copyrights may not apply to all polls and content of the poll pages. If you wish to use any of it in a copyrighted print, Web, TV, or radio broadcast, it's best to ask on the poll talk page. Claiming Alberto Gonzales or John Yoo wrote a memo for you will not help.